Whisper
by inner-storm
Summary: Alex is the best thing that happened to Bobby, but is she all she seems?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Characters belong to Dick Wolf. Lyrics owned by Evanescence.  
  
* * *  
  
WHISPER  
  
Playground school bell rings, again  
  
Rain clouds come to play, again  
  
It was just like any other visit. Bobby would talk, but there would be no answer. He would tell her about his week, what he had done, cases he had solved, funny moments shared with his quick witted and sharp tongued partner. But if she actually took in any thing he said, there would be no clue. In fact, the only time Bobby knew she knew he was there was when he tried to touch her.  
  
Has no-one told you she's not breathing  
  
The doctors would drag her out kicking and screaming in one of the fits that always ended their time together. He would berate himself for trying to get close to her. Every time, he would try to convince himself that she was lost forever in the darkness her mind created. But every time, the determination that got him through his days only made him hope. He left, continuing his routine. After each visit, he would go to the only family he had left. He never told his partner he was coming; yet there was always a fresh cup of coffee waiting for him when he got there.  
  
Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to. Hello  
  
"Hello." Came the usual soft greeting that met him at the door. Bobby would smile a fake smile. He new she saw right through the act but he was grateful she never pushed for details. They would talk about anything and everything. Bobby had to admit it was a relief to forget his problems; even if was just for a couple of hours. He looked forward to these visits more and more each week and often caught himself thinking whether or not his visits to his mother first were worth it. When he voiced his thoughts, Alex agreed. "Why do you put yourself through all this pain Bobby? She's gone, and no matter how much you talk to her, she isn't coming back."  
  
If I smile and don't believe  
  
'Why would she say that? She's my mother. The only one I have left. She's not gone, she can't be. I can see it, right before she breaks, she's there.' Bobby doesn't say this of course. She's still talking, as if nothing had been said. He nods and laughs at the right times, but he's not really listening. Their routine resumed. He would go home. His empty apartment seemingly more empty each time. He crawls to bed, praying not to dream. But the nightmare is waiting for him as soon as he falls into sleeps clutches.  
  
[White, plain walls. Doctors, pushing him down as he fights, kicking and screaming. The window catches his eyes. His reflection calms him. A disheveled, pathetic human being. The paleness of his skin only emphasizing the hollow, lifelessness of his eyes.]  
  
He woke, sweating and screaming.  
  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
  
She was standing there in the corner; Bobby stared, wondering what she was doing there, in his apartment in the middle of the night. "You were dreaming again Bobby." He continued to stare. "You have to let her go Bobby, she's only hurting you."  
  
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken  
  
Bobby yelled at her. How dare she come here and tell him to forget his mother. He loved her. He was so taken up by his frantic screaming; he didn't know what he was saying. He kicked and threw things around, and when he was finished, she was still standing there smiling, the calm in the chaos.  
  
Hello I'm your lie living for you so you can hide. Don't cry  
  
He cried. Why was she still just standing there? "C'mon Bobby, come with me. Let go of your pain. Come with me and it will all go away." He shook his head, backing up against the wall. 'It's not real, it can't be real' He stopped and lifted his head, his eyes full of realization. "YOU'RE NOT REAL!" he screamed. "YOU'RE NOT REAL...NOT REAL!" The words echoed around his head...until he woke up.  
  
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
  
He was in the hospital again. He reached out and touched the window. It was solid and cool, and the same reflection from his dream was staring back at him. Sounds returned. A cart rattling past his door, voices echoing down the corridors.  
  
Hello I'm still here  
  
"Hello?" he called. There was no answer. Instead whispering voices filled hi room. "Bobby? Bobby?" He turned, looking for the source of the noise. Finding nothing, he ran out into the empty corridor. "Bobby. Are you there?" The voices only egged him further, up staircases, through corridors, finally stopping at a closed door. "Go on Bobby, open it. We're all waiting for you." He pushed it open, stepping out onto the roof. "Hello Bobby." Bobby stared in disbelief. There was Alex and his mother. Not only them but also his dad, smiling and holding his baby brother. "Hurry up Bobby, we're all waiting." He stepped forward, realizing too late it was another image. As he fell the truth was revealed to him. His nightmare wasn't his nightmare, it was his reality.  
  
All that's left of yesterday  
  
Panic descended on the street below. No one could know that the lifeless man before them had just been shown his truths, only to die. As ambulances arrived and police taped off the area, in another place a baby was born, a bird took off for the first time and the sun began to set on another day, closing another week. As one life left, the world prepared to greet a new day, a timeless, never-ending cycle. 


	2. epilogue

Disclaimer: Don't own them  
  
* * *  
  
Detective Alex Eames crossed the tape, following her partner. "David, what are we doing here? This is a clear suicide, by an insane man no less." David Johnson rolled his eyes and continued towards the body. Alex sighed and followed, the incessant desire of her partner to investigate never ceasing to amaze her. She looked at the body, and a sudden sense of familiarity descended on her. She stopped, stunned, not even realizing the hospital orderly talking to her. "Excuse me...Maam?" Alex snapped to attention. "Did you know him?" "No I couldn't have." She replied, wondering if she was trying to convince herself as well. She flashed him a grim smile and left, dismissing the moment as a memory of a dream she never had.  
  
* * *  
  
Reviews really appreciated (you can tell me its crap if you want) 


End file.
